It seemed obvious that I would choose 1 Slyoldgirl as a screen name, having started this blog a few years ago for loners. It was a long running joke between my old German Shepherd girlydog and myself. The whole of my drinking career my best companions were my dogs. They ” understood” me, never counted my drinks and didn’t ask a lot of stupid questions. Every alcoholics dream come true. They were the best friends I ever had until I hit the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, where, guess what?? I found people who were not judgemental, didn’t count my drinks and loved me, no matter what………
Going online has been the next logical step for me, I love AA everywhere, and the internet is a big part of my life, I was thrilled to find a good room right from the gate. My favorite online meeting is more structured, which follows my feelings in face to face meetings. My self will had led to a life of chaos, so today I truly enjoy a sane environment for learning and relaxing. I discovered long ago, when there are no guidelines the bullies take over, and my BB says we have ceased the fight ( my words ) so when I do stumble into a chaotic meeting; I sit, smile politely and just don’t go back. I am not there to change their meeting or disrespect what works for them, I am not the “AA Police” I tried that at about 5 years sober and nearly got killed.
At the morning meeting I attend in that room, a fellow was grousing about all the ” thumpers” taking over, clearly he was not happy. I did a quick inventory to see if my ” thumperism” had escaped. I don’t believe it had, but I made a mental note to pay more attention to what other people were sharing , sure enough there is a good amount of what we call “psychobabble” in my part of the world. Now I read, identify and learn, but I don’t share when attending their meeting. There are different levels in AA and there is a place for AA kindergarten, and there is strong need for adult step/book meetings where we don’t dumb down the program. AA was based on a spiritual way of life, when we try to take that aspect away from a meeting, we lose the meat of the program. I see people say ” they don’t need the steps, or the literature only the fellowship”….. well hey..I had some pretty good fellowship in the bars and in the churches of my youth. Fellowship alone is not enough. although we long ago gave up on the Four Absolutes, they remain for many of us a goal, a sign of wanting to become better people and the founders of this program learned a great deal from the Oxford group. I was taught early on that if you have a drunken horse thief, and all you do is take away the booze , all you are left with is a sober horse thief. I will always have a need for face to face meetings, but I can see a real advantage to online chat meetings.
They force you to think before you speak, reminding us of why our inventory mentions “writing:)
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